How Mexico Yanked Me Out Of My ‘Go-To Place’

...and 1 more AHA I was happy to pay $17,000 for

by Kris Ward

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I just got home from a weeklong trip to Cancun, Mexico where I was hanging with my “Rich, Happy & Hot” ladies––a group of about 20 entrepreneurial women who joined me in Marie Forleo’s RHH Mastery Program.

Check out all this radiance in one spot.

This was a seriously life changing weekend.

As Marie put it, “It was a non-stop fiesta of ninja marketing, explosive business growth, ground-shaking personal development, luxurious spa treatments, bright sunshine, breezy cabanas, crazy dancing and EPIC parties.”

Amidst all that magic, here are the biggest life and business lessons I picked up while I was there that I’ll never forget:

1.  To GO BIG in your business, know your “GO-TO Place”, then get support in creating and sticking to a plan that will keep you OUT of that nasty rut.

We all have a “favorite flava” of drama. An oh-so-familiar habit, behavior, or “head space” we slip into when we’re feeling challenged, and ESPECIALLY when we’re facing our biggest fears and chasing our biggest dreams (which the ego HATES!).

Our GO-TO place is like a smoke screen we create around us (most likely unconsciously) as our secret way of playing small or excusing ourselves for not going after what we REALLY want.

Once we pinpoint what our “GO-TO Place” is, we have to OWN it fully, then devise a plan that is SOLID enough to keep us in the game even when those old tendencies start pulling at us again (which they WILL).

Wanna know what my GO-TO Place is?

Over-commiting.

I absolutely love my lifestyle and career. But when I over-commit myself, like saying yes to too many speaking gigs, clients, classes, or even personal endeavors like traveling, having family in town, and taking on too many household projects, my lifestyle shifts from buttery and balanced to feeling like a chaotic, pressure-filled J-O-B!

I burn myself out, skip out on sleep, get stressed and feel depleted, skip yoga practices and WORST OF ALL, dodge intimate time with my one-and-only (that would otherwise nourish BOTH of us).

Not only do I feel like total ass when I do this, but I lose my passion and drive, I forget about the people I’m here to serve, and I become a lot more prone to “monkey mind” which is soooo NOT fun.

No good comes out of it and EVERYBODY pays for it; my clients, my husband… my HEALTH!

BUT––there’s a payoff. Which is why I keep GOING to the GO TO Place.

I “get” to feel busy.

I “get” to feel important.

I “get” to put off action steps that I KNOW I need to take in order to really “GO BIG” as they say; put myself out there going BALLS TO THE WALL changing lives, taking a stand, and sharing my gifts with the world.

So the first HUGE takeaway I got from Mexico was to face the fact that I’m a KHRONIC over-committer––that’s my GO TO Place. So from here on out I am fully committed to NO MORE OVERCOMMITTING!

To ward off any future slip-ups, I’ve put a plan into place including frequent check-ins with my coach and mastermind chicas to keep me from giving a WINK of my time and attention to anything other than the VERY VERY FEW and MUY IMPORTANTE HANDFUL of things I’ve already scheduled out for the next 12 months that are #1 priority in my life and business. The stuff that REALLY matters.

Which is UH-AMAZING because now I feel Fuh-REEE! There’s breathing room, clarity, renewed vigor.

One little shift and all my power is back.

That ALONE is worth every penny I invested in coaching.

2.  As a take-off from #1, and another direct Marie quote: “Go balls to the wall, or stay home!”

Most of us are scared sh!tless to go full out and commit 100% to our desired outcome because we don’t want to feel the sting of an ego bruise.

We’re terrified of making a fool of ourselves, being rejected, or facing public humiliation.

So what do we do?

We sabotage our chances for success before we even begin.

We say we’re fully committed to a specific result, yet our actions tell a totally different story.

I’m totally guilty of this. There were times when I came to my mentors saying I wanted to enroll this many people and change this many lives, yada yada. But then my launch plans were weak, unclear or nearly non-existent.

I’m a marketer. I KNOW how to do launches.

Yet, I’d say, ”I’m just going to do a little launch.”

How come?

Avoidance of the dreaded ego bruise.

If I did my “little launch” and say 2 people signed up for whatever I was offering, it would be easy to stomach because I’d have the excuse that, “It was just a little launch. I wasn’t going balls to the wall on this one. I’ll do that NEXT go around.”

Then NEXT time never comes because I’m too busy with my hectic, important schedule of over-commitments! Are you seeing the vicious cycle?

If you’re seeing yourself in these examples, you TOO have a decision to make. Right now.

If you’ve learned anything from me, it’s that marketing is a GOOD THING. It’s how you help people who NEED YOUR HELP to FIND YOU and work with you.

Without marketing you’ve got no game. No matter how awesome you and your product or service are, if your marketing message isn’t compelling, you won’t move people to action. And you’ll be horribly disappointed both financially AND emotionally.

So if you want to “GO BIG” in any area of your business or life, decide in advance to go balls to the wall. Put everything you’ve got––mind, body, spirit and all your resources––into moving forward with a clear plan of action.

In Summary:

You really CAN redesign your business to give yourself a lifestyle others would only dream of (in terms of ideal schedule, being immersed in your passion, and making great money making a difference in the world).

But until you give up your addiction to your GO TO Place, and become OKAY with feeling vulnerable a good chunk of the time (it’s inevitable when you’re going BALLS TO THE WALL), you’ll likely keep standing in your own way. And no matter how brilliantly good ole “Univ” is working its magic, you won’t be able to access all the miracles, assistance and opportunities that are trying to make their way to you.

So there!

Thanks for being here.

All my love,

P.S. Got thoughts or feedback for me? Leave a comment. I’d love to hear how this helped you, or anything else you want to share.

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Kris Ward
Kris Ward is a Lifestyle Design Coach™ Trainer and the president and founder of AbundantYogi.com. She has helped to educate and inspire over 100,000 people worldwide out of painful conflict around money, self-sabotage, and inhibited self-expression into having the freedom and abundance to do what they love every day, and ...read more

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Read 12 comments

  1. Kala
    says

    That was helpful! And I wasn’t sure from the title but I like your writing style so I said what the hell! Yeah my cop out style is to get sticky and obsessive on non productive busy stuff. Like over and over changeing the color on a small item on a web site or some such craziness. I’m gonna re read your post and see if I can motivate!

  2. Meredit
    says

    Great post! Earlier this week I totally identified my Go To Place, yet didn’t quite call it that and put into action a plan to help me stay focused and centered on a daily basis. I love to escape and not fully commit but I realized that I have been getting in my own way. What you said about Ego totally resonates with me, yes as soon as I start moving forward towards my dreams and desires, I so self sabotage.

    I am a flexibility freak and so require it, so my plan is totally flexible, gives me total freedom yet it’s so structured. Too much structure drives me CRAZY yet I recognize structure is so good for me. And within that structure I have given myself the freedom to be flexible.

    Thanks Kris, you are always hitting the nail on the head!

    Meredith

  3. Sara
    says

    Thank you Kris! I have recently identified my own GO TO place and the idea to make a plan to stay away from it is SO important. A step I hadn’t yet considered myself.

  4. Arleen Garcia-Herbst
    says

    Thanks for pointing out a major obstacle to achieving your goals – yourself! It is a very straightforward concept, and reading your post helped me see myself doing the same thing in my professional life. I’m looking forward to learning more from you! Namaste.

  5. Katrina Ariel
    says

    Fantastic post! This is just what I needed to read. Thank you for sharing and taking the lead in your own commitments to what serves your highest good (and makes your service most impactful for others.)

  6. JO
    says

    Kris, now THAT was kik in the a..that i need…my go to place, is blaming my hubby, work schedule, craziness in life…for not completing MMA….not going there n e more!
    only one responsible for running away is me….
    tks for this, simple, truthful and straight from the heart!
    jo

  7. Deb LeClair
    says

    This was one of the most personally impactful blogs I have ever read! You sharing your GO TO place in such a real way was immensely eye and heart opening ( esp. as this is also my GO To place).

    Namaste,
    Deb

  8. Dorothy Mathis
    says

    This was really great. I know I have a Go To place but never called it that. This helps me see what it is ~ and I agree mine is extremely similar to yours. Too busy to take care of what is important. For me I am trying to identify those activities that energize me and those that drain me. I will work on a system to help me commit to saying yes to my high energy activities and no to my drainers. Thanks for posting!

  9. Catherine Collins
    says

    I love how your writing is so reflective of your personality. I feel like I’m right there with you having a convo!

    Thank you for this post. This line in particular really resonated with me:
    “We say we’re fully committed to a specific result, yet our actions tell a totally different story.”

    I am totally guilty of this! And I’ve realised it doesn’t come from a place of laziness, it comes from a place of fear. Or, as you so shrewdly put it, “avoidance of the dreaded ego bruise!”

    Thank you for helping ME create another juicy “Ahah” moment.

    Love you lots! xo

  10. Cindy Cummins
    says

    Thank you Kris I want so much to work with you!
    love,
    cindy

  11. Jamie Koonce
    says

    Thanks for this post, Kris. How can a solopreneur really go “balls to the wall” when potential JV partners just say “no” continuously? My idea of a successful launch would involve multiple affiliates so that the instant you pull the trigger to launch, thousands of people find out about the product or service that is being offered. How do you find affiliates and JV partners who say “yes?”

  12. Tracy
    says

    Great Post Kris. Read every word.
    It hit home!!! Thank you for sharing that. Tracy