Not long ago, I had a miscarriage.
Mind you, this happened just as several other ridiculously heavy BOMBS landed on my plate.
Years ago, something like this might’ve taken me out.
Not now. Not this time.
I was sad, and I definitely felt a sense of loss. I grieved for a person I never knew, and for a relationship that ended before it ever really began.
I gave myself a night or two to cuddle with my husband and 2 year old and feel disappointed that what I thought was going to happen, and what I’d hoped would happen… didn’t.
But underlying all of that sadness and disappointment was a massive sense of trust – which is why the painful stuff moved on through and didn’t last long.
I let myself be held and comforted by that trust – that rang in my mind as a mantra:
Everything is as it should be.
These were the words keeping me grounded in reality, and in a story that felt like a warm blanket to wrap up in.
I knew, if I wanted to, I could choose to keep entertaining a very sad story. I could also go into a REALLY fearful, resistant space.
I could choose to believe that this shouldn’t have happened.
Or that it was somehow my fault.
Or that I’ll never get another chance to conceive again.
Or that I’ll miss out because of never getting the chance to meet or raise this child and member of our family. In fact:
Everyone of those thoughts popped into my mind at some point.
Luckily, when they did, I knew better than to believe them – because the second I started to, I felt stress and heaviness. A clear sign from my body that the life force was draining right out of me.
Then I’d remember it was just a thought, and I didn’t have to believe it.
I could go back to “Everything is as it should be” and then I’d feel and function just fine. No energy leaks or heaviness.
Amazing what a difference perspective makes.
Me believing all is as it should be?
>>> Calm. Curious. Accepting. Even grateful and hopeful for what’s to come in the future. “At least now I know I’m still fertile.”
Me believing all is WRONG / BROKEN / SAD / SCARY, etc.?
>>> Distraught. Depressed. Bitter. Worried. And worse and worse and worse the longer I continue on that train.
I’m in no way saying we should stuff or deny our negative emotions.
That always tends to backfire.
I’m just saying that we should acknowledge our emotions, but also trace them back to the THOUGHT that triggered them (thought ALWAYS precedes EMOTION); then we should question the accuracy and helpfulness of the thought, as well as its worthiness of our continued time and attention.
This goes for any and all stressful thoughts and stories, be they about miscarriages, money, relationships… or launching/growing/saving your business.
The body knows exactly what it’s doing.
In my experience, it will always give us STRESS signals when what we’re thinking and believing ISN’T HELPFUL.
Whereas, when the thoughts and perspectives we’re entertaining ARE helpful, we’ll get the opposite signals: Relief. Hope. Lightness. Even joy.
If this happens to be catching you at a time when your thoughts have been bringing more STRESS than PEACE into your life:
Then now might be a good time to implement (or bring back) a mantra that will ground and reconnect you to your higher knowing – that doesn’t always feel accessible in moments of stress or doubt.
- I couldn’t get it wrong (or get off my path) if I tried.
- Now I am present. (This is a great anchor for when you’re NOT feeling present. Say this – and suddenly you ARE.)
- Everything is service. It’s all here for my learning and growth.
- Life gives me exactly what I need.
- I am stronger than I think I am.
- I know what I’m doing. I’m bringing my full presence and power to this moment (or activity).
- I carry people back to love (myself included).
- I am being guided. I’m right where I need to be.
Take that mantra and burn it in the brain.
You can do this by:
- chanting it quietly (or even in your head) with the use of mala beads during meditation (click HERE for my favorite “fearless” beads by Tiny Devotions);
- repeating it aloud several times a day,
sort of like setting and coming back to an intention
(I especially love to do this during work breaks with my feet in the grass);
- repeating it in your mind as you do sun salutations; or
- saying it a handful of times before you lay your head on your pillow at night.
However you do it, just remember that repetition is the name of the game.
Love to infinity,
P.S. Got a favorite mantra you want to share? Go for it. Comment below. We’d love to hear what works for you.
P.P.S. If you’re already on my email list and you haven’t yet seen my ‘Removing Resistance’ video where I go much deeper into this topic and help remove the 2 biggest blocks keeping entrepreneurial yogis, coaches and change agents from fully realizing their most joyful and sustainably profitable career, go HERE to do that now.
P.P.P.S. Not yet on the email list? Go HERE first… then you’ll make your way to ‘Removing Resistance’ shortly after.