Thursday, February 11th, 2016

by Maria Kubitz

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If you made it to the February “Work It” Class, you know it was chock full of counterintuitive and deeply personal (but ironically, universal) relationship insights. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Pollyanna Darling and Monica Rios gifted us with their willingness to be honest, raw and transparent in the “Hot Seat”, so that we could all do The Work right alongside them and share in their breakthroughs on finding clarity, happiness, harmony and empowerment in relationships. (Who couldn’t use more of THAT?!)

Here’s a quick summary of what went down after we wrapped up our regular instructional ramp-up to doing The Work:

Hot Seat #1 / started roughly 30 min. into the call: Monica facilitated while Pollyanna played the role of “client”, grappling with the belief that her partner “always makes everything about him”.

Pollyanna has been in the “Work It” Hot Seat before, so she did an incredible job getting right into Inquiry – and quickly catching her mind when it wanted to see a narrower view that put her in the right. Bravo, sister, and thank you for vulnerably sharing the motives and impulses you noticed. That took bravery… and it was immensely helpful.

This was Monica’s first time as facilitator, but she got the hang of it in no time. She especially nailed her responsibility to Pollyanna to help ensure that all of Pollyanna’s “Turnaround” examples (the examples that can only be found with a quiet, curious mind, that help illuminate the possibility that the original (STRESSFUL) statement/belief may not be the only “true” perspective) were specific, real-life examples versus broad generalizations.

Pollyanna walked away with several aha’s about how and where SHE had been contributing to the problem – and what she could do differently moving forward to steer clear of repeating this kind of upset UNNECESSARILY. Thank you again, Pollyanna, for allowing us to learn THROUGH YOUR INQUIRY what WE can do better in our own partnerships.

Hot Seat #2 / started roughly 95 min. into the call: Pollyanna facilitated for Monica this time as she delved into an old, but still very painful judgment about a partner from her past who had “heaped verbal abuse onto her”.

Right away, Monica looked very soberly at how she reacts and what happens when she believes (and re-lives) this thought. Then she ALSO saw clear-as-day, who she would be WITHOUT the thought. This. Was. F*cking Fantastic to witness.

Her Turnarounds were very powerful, especially when she took full responsibility for the fact that, even though this partner is long gone, she’s the one who still continues the “heaping of the verbal abuse” in her head (even though it sounds like “his voice”).

When it was all said and done, Monica had a very strong resolve to take her lessons from this old relationship and apply them forward in a loving way so that she could better, kinder and more compassionate – to HERSELF. She could BE the kind of person she deserves in her life. It was a wonderful thing to watch her take her power back – and reinvest that power into something truly healthy and helpful – just for her.

Her “Living Amends” will now be to start working out in the mornings again, and to couple the workouts with a soft and gentle acknowledgment of her Inner Child, AKA “Little Monica”: “This workout is just for you, Little. I’ll always do something just for you every day.”

Monica and Pollyanna, we look forward to reading your “Living Amends” updates in the Facebook Group. Much gratitude in advance for taking those extra steps to see this work through and milk all the benefits you possibly can from it, and from this supportive AY community. Job well done, both of you! Mucho mucho kudos to you.

Between now and the next time we talk LIVE, please use the Facebook group to post your questions, comments and feedback. Do your best to fully make use of the Bhakti Buddy System (especially for grabbing a partner and doing The Work) and keep plugging away with your coursework at your own pace.

I kiss you. I hug you. Muah!!
Have a lovely weekend.


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Maria Kubitz
With over twenty years in a successful marketing communications career at companies ranging from huge corporations like Hewlett-Packard to small startup environments with less than ten people, Maria has seen first-hand what works and what doesn't. In 2012, Maria launched a grief support website where her honest, heartfelt writing has helped more

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