Brooke Berude, an LDC student in Queensland (Australia) and Karrie Sandford, a PHD student in Toronto (Canada) sent in some really great questions for their Hot Seats that led to two rich and in-depth conversations about assessing right action from moment to moment, keeping Outer Child in check, and Inner Child nourished and well cared for.
Here’s a summary of what happened after our group self-assessment ritual:
Hot Seat #1 / Brooke / Started roughly 50 min. into the call: In Brooke’s case, as she admitted in her Hot Seat Prep Form (HSPF), she wasn’t yet “stuck”, she was just worrying about getting stuck, or rather not meeting her goals in the future. She’s a new student who’s only yet completed Do it for the Love and the Money, and she’s really just getting her feet wet at AY. She hadn’t yet been introduced to the Taming Your Outer Child book and a lot of the other “Monkey Mind” lassoing tools we reference and teach.
So we gave her a sneak peek at what lies ahead and reassured her that, at this point in the game, what she’s experiencing is nothing more than Monkey Mind at its best… too much thinking (doubting/spinning/worrying/what-if-ing/grasping for certainty), not enough trust and action.
We encouraged her to just keep going, one foot in front of the other, with her AY coursework, and briefly touched on one of the core tenets here: “The only fear you ever really fear is the fear of feeling a feeling you don’t want to feel.”
The solution is to run TOWARD rather than away from the feeling you’re avoiding, and be willing to feel the feeling fully. Then, notice/look at all the meaning-making. Separate it from the sensation. Be with the sensation itself –– and STILL take the action forward (that you know you need to take) on behalf of “Little” (AKA your Inner Child)… showing up to be a good parent to her… to tend to her needs… to be responsible for her well-being. That’s the way to strengthen Adult Self, make real progress, steer clear of self-sabotage, and soothe the fears as much as they CAN be soothed.
Hot Seat #2 / Karrie / Started roughly 65 min. into the call. As Karrie eventually pointed out herself, the questions she sent in via her HSPF (that were mostly centered around overwhelm and financial fears) ended up being only distantly relevant to the core need she had, but she couldn’t have known that ahead of time. It wasn’t until we REACHED the core need via the exploratory conversation on the call, that she realized her TRUE need was actually very different from what she thought it was. That’s often the case –– which is a testament to the power and value of coaching and having a good soundboard, whether you get that through 1-1 coaching, the live classes, listening to someone else being coached via the call archives, or connecting with a Bhakti Buddy.
All the love,
-Kris & Kraig