Wednesday, March 9th, 2016

by Maria Kubitz

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If you made it to the March TSS Class, you know it was solid gold.

Rachael Ewan and Ann Souter gifted us with really great questions in their Hot Seats that led to two brief but very potent discussions chock full of immediately implementable take-aways!

Here’s a summary of what happened on the call after our group self-assessment ritual:

Hot Seat #1 / Rachael / Started roughly 55 min. into the call: Her questions centered around taming her habit of always taking the lead (doing the bulk of the work) with both work and school projects – rather than delegating equal parts of the work to others (and being okay with “good enough” vs. perfect). This is the case with so many of us overachievers and perfectionists. We often put way too much on our plate because “we can do the work better ourselves”. But this is Outer Child in full effect, and unfortunately, it almost always slows progress and leads to resentment and overwhelm. So what to do?

First, we talked about the importance of communicating this observation to the people with whom she works and studies, and we asked her to request their help in not letting this go on.

We also sent her back to review the “Game Worth Playing” she’d created in Module 5 of LifeLaunch to consider adding a specific Core Desired Feeling, Uncompromising Principle, and Core Practice. Documenting (and more importantly, PRACTICING) these new additions will help her to pinpoint the unmet need and desire beneath this tendency – then erect and uphold the necessary boundaries to ensure the need and desire are met – NOW and well into the future.

Hot Seat #2 / Ann / She’s going through a big transition right now – putting in her final notice at her full-time job this coming Monday so she can focus on growing her business. So exciting… and naturally, daunting. Outer’s tendency will, of course, be to scheme a “master plan” to map out every move, decision, and detail from now until her final exit – in an attempt to feel clear and ward off failure.

But Ann is smart, and she’s realized that it’s the counterintuitive approach (i.e. the OPPOSITE of Outer Child’s typical ways) that is most needed now. She admitted that she’s tired and foggy, and really needs some time to recover, yet her fears are pushing her towards overworking (and over-worrying).

So we came up with a kinder, scaled back, more realistic plan to get her through the next 2 phases of her transition – feeling her best (we broke them into two to simplify things and reduce stress). The plan involved leveraging the Overwhelm Eliminator, twice, and committing to NOT doing anything extra, that wasn’t truly needed NOW (based upon the solutions she’d pinpoint from the OE exercises). That should help tremendously.

Bonus 1: We caught Ann in a “whoops, Outer almost got me there!” slip where she almost acted on the impulse to turn even her SELF-CARE into a daunting (and very lengthy) TO DO list.

I’ve been guilty of that before… how about you? That Outer. She sure is sneaky with the well-meaning intentions that quietly wreak havoc on our sanity.

Bonus 2: We explained a Napoleon Hill “Mental Boardroom” exercise that can be used anytime you need wise advice, business or personal. Try it. I think you’ll really dig it! You’ll surprise yourself with wisdom and answers you didn’t even know you had in you.

So much love,

-Kris & Kraig

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Maria Kubitz
With over twenty years in a successful marketing communications career at companies ranging from huge corporations like Hewlett-Packard to small startup environments with less than ten people, Maria has seen first-hand what works and what doesn't. In 2012, Maria launched a grief support website where her honest, heartfelt writing has helped ...read more

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