What To Do When We Can’t Change What Is

Finding space for holiday love, beautiful music, and dealing with unfathomable tragedy

by Kris Ward

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It took me awhile to post about this topic. It just hurt.

There are no words for the kind of sadness that ripples through our vulnerable bodies when we’re delivered news like the news we got on Friday, December 14th regarding the Connecticut shootings.

At least (I’ll speak for myself here) I have no words. All I can do is melt and feel my own sadness being stirred, then breathe generously and try and let go of my need to make sense of things that I just can’t make sense of.

Whenever something this unexplainable happens and I’m stopped in my tracks like this… brought to my knees… I always have to do SOMETHING with the feeling besides just feeling it. I have to MOVE the energy somehow.

So, even while I’m allowing myself to STAY with my current felt experience, I always have to DO something that feels positive. Something within my reach that utilizes my unique capabilities – whatever skills I may have accessible – in a way that serves another human being. That somehow takes me from feeling powerless to feeling like, “At least I have THIS to offer. This is ONE thing I can do, even if can’t change the bigger calamities out there. This is one way I can see how I can make a difference.”

It’s a deliberate MOVE to transmute the energy and shift the focus, but without sidestepping the healing/grieving process.

As you do your own energy alchemy around this, may you also find a way to make space for holiday love and more beautiful music. May you fill your houses, tummies, and hearts with warmth, nourishment, laughter and joy. And may we all find the courage to keep saying yes to life and opening ourselves to the broad and sometimes painful experience of it, even when it doesn’t make sense.

I love you. And I’m grateful for you.

Happy Holidays!





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Kris Ward
Kris Ward is a Lifestyle Design Coach™ Trainer and the president and founder of AbundantYogi.com. She has helped to educate and inspire over 100,000 people worldwide out of painful conflict around money, self-sabotage, and inhibited self-expression into having the freedom and abundance to do what they love every day, and ...read more

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Read 6 comments

  1. Jena

    Thanks for this message and music.

  2. Jena

    THanks for your message and sharing this beautiful music.

  3. Angela Cooper

    Thanks to you for posting and to Brendan for creating and allowing you to share this beautiful song. It is inspiring to see emotion turned into such beautiful expression instead of deteriorating into argument and ugliness. Feeling a little warmer this holiday because of this.

    With love and gratitude,

    1. Kris Ward

      Fully agreed Angela.

    2. Caden

      Yhdyn edellisiin, ihan samanlaisia Cao-klanpkreemuksia kuin sinulla ja Lurulla! Olen ajatellut, että liian hienoa meikäläiselle. :)Uskon myös, että moni Finlandian voittanut kirja päätyy suoraan hyllyntäytteeksi, joko ostaja itse jättää lukematta tai lahjan saaja jättää lukematta.

  4. Stephanie Mills

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and Brendan’s beautiful song. May we all be the light…Best wishes for a Merry Christmas with your own sweet Lyric.

    Namaste, Stephanie