It took me awhile to post about this topic. It just hurt.
There are no words for the kind of sadness that ripples through our vulnerable bodies when we’re delivered news like the news we got on Friday, December 14th regarding the Connecticut shootings.
At least (I’ll speak for myself here) I have no words. All I can do is melt and feel my own sadness being stirred, then breathe generously and try and let go of my need to make sense of things that I just can’t make sense of.
Whenever something this unexplainable happens and I’m stopped in my tracks like this… brought to my knees… I always have to do SOMETHING with the feeling besides just feeling it. I have to MOVE the energy somehow.
So, even while I’m allowing myself to STAY with my current felt experience, I always have to DO something that feels positive. Something within my reach that utilizes my unique capabilities – whatever skills I may have accessible – in a way that serves another human being. That somehow takes me from feeling powerless to feeling like, “At least I have THIS to offer. This is ONE thing I can do, even if can’t change the bigger calamities out there. This is one way I can see how I can make a difference.”
It’s a deliberate MOVE to transmute the energy and shift the focus, but without sidestepping the healing/grieving process.
As you do your own energy alchemy around this, may you also find a way to make space for holiday love and more beautiful music. May you fill your houses, tummies, and hearts with warmth, nourishment, laughter and joy. And may we all find the courage to keep saying yes to life and opening ourselves to the broad and sometimes painful experience of it, even when it doesn’t make sense.
I love you. And I’m grateful for you.