This is one of those, “Wow, so easy! Why didn’t I see that before?” moments.
Big aha! So I just had to share it. This is especially for couples and parents.
It has nothing to do with business or lifestyle design, but it also has EVERYTHING to do with them because it’s about being happy and connected in our most cherished, most intimate relationships. It’s about being on the same team with our life partner, rather than being on opposite teams because of stupid stuff – petty arguments – but also because of lurking resentment around unmet needs and unexpressed, unfulfilled desires, big and small.
When we’re not on the same team as our numero uno, EVERYTHING sucks… and everything suffers. Business included.
So here’s my aha.
I’m still breastfeeding and my son absolutely will not take a bottle at night. He also won’t go back to sleep in the middle of the night without mama. Tried it. No go.
So I literally haven’t left him for a single night for almost 17 months.
That means no girls’ trips, no weekend getaways without the little monkey.
Wouldn’t be as much of an issue if I weren’t watching my husband go on so many getaways. Climbing, business trips, see a music show, more climbing, guys’ trips, visit the fam, more climbing.
It’s not that he travels all the time – it’s less than it was before baby – it’s that his travel is spotlit because I’m NOT traveling.
I don’t want to make him stay home and give up traveling just because I’m breastfeeding. Of course I want to support him having fun. He’s so happy, well rested and so rejuvenated after his trips, we ALL benefit from him taking them.
But here’s the thing.
The mind can’t help but keep score.
(I had a little help from trusted friends to get this. Thank you friends!)
If the mind is going to keep score anyway, why not do it more explicitly and turn it into a positive?
So that’s what we did.
We agreed to let our minds keep score out in the open. That way we could own up to what was going on in our interior and manage it more strategically. Nothing hidden, festering, being stuffed down, turning into resentment (phew!).
Honesty is so downstream!
Now, even though I’m still not traveling, I have this whole list of extra “things” and privileges that I get to do and have so that things can feel a bit more balanced.
We look at this list and collaborate openly – on behalf of Team Ward! – so we can ensure that each team member’s needs and desires are being identified, expressed and met.
If the meeting of one person’s needs and desires negatively impacts the other in any way, we make up for that by ‘evening the score’ with extra perks.
So easy and so cool!
Hope this helps you as well.
Here’s to being on the SAME TEAM with our partners!
P.S. Digging into energy bottlenecks like this in our personal lives – and then resolving these bottlenecks – frees us up to be so much more joyful, clear headed and effective. If we don’t tend to this stuff, it festers, squelches our energy, leaves us on unstable footing and keeps us from manifesting the life and business we want.
This is absolutely a part of the deeply personal work we’ll do inside this year’s Secret Sauce Society. It’s for Sisters in Yoga & Business who want to join together for 9 magical months of lucrative self-realization and phenomenal business growth. If you love Yoga, heart-centered business, lifestyle design & getting REAL, you might be ‘secret sauce’ material…
Find out here: